POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE SELF-TALK: YOUR BRAIN PERFORMS WHAT YOU REHEARSE

In our previous post, we explored the role of perspective during self-talk and how using your own name can create psychological distance. Now, we're looking at what you're saying to yourself.

If you've spent any time around people, you've probably heard someone holler some version of:

"Don't **** it up!"

The intention is good, but the impact probably wasn't.

Most discussions about self-talk frame it as a dichotomy between being positive or negative. Although this can be a helpful distinction, it's actually more nuanced than simply being an optimist or pessimist. Another way to conceptualize self-talk is as directing your attention either toward the action you want to perform (an efficient use of brain power) or toward the outcome you hope to avoid (an unnecessary expenditure of mental energy).

WHY NEGATIVE SELF-TALK CAN WORK AGAINST US

You've probably heard someone say that "the brain doesn't care about the word don't." In fact, I've said it myself.

Your brain absolutely understands negation, but it has to construct the thing it's negating before it can do so.

Imagine I say:

"Don't picture a red porsche."

What happened?

Most people immediately pictured one.

The same thing happens when we give ourselves performance instructions.

"Don't hit the water."

"Don't flub it."

"Don't choke."

Before you can avoid those outcomes, your brain has already represented them.

This function has been tied to the posterior parietal cortex which plays an important role in representing intended actions and transforming sensory information into motor plans. It works closely with premotor regions to prepare movements before they are executed. In other words, our brains are constantly building internal representations of the actions we are considering performing. And if we are considering not doing something, the brain must first construct a representation of that action before it can inhibit or redirect it.

When your self-talk repeatedly emphasizes the mistake you're trying to avoid, you're repeatedly activating a representation of that mistake before you ever shift your attention toward what you want to do. If we follow the adage that "neurons that fire together, wire together," we are spending energy reinforcing the opposite of what we're trying to accomplish.

So, should we spend valuable mental resources rehearsing an action that isn't our goal, or should we invest those resources into building the neural sequence we'd actually like to execute?

BUILDING BETTER MENTAL PLANS

Imagine a skier approaching a gap between two trees.

Their internal dialogue could be:

"Don't hit the tree."

or

"Ski the line between the trees."

The physical outcome they're trying to achieve is the same, but only one instruction provides a clear action plan.

By giving ourselves positive instructions—that is, telling ourselves what to do rather than what not to do—we move more efficiently from incoming information to loading the preferred motor sequence for execution.

Beautiful efficiency.

The same principle applies whether you're competing, giving a presentation, performing surgery, taking an exam, or having a difficult conversation.

Instead of:

"Don't panic."

Try:

"Slow your breathing."

Instead of:

"Don't rush."

Try:

"One sentence at a time."

Instead of:

"Don't choke."

Try:

"Do it like you practiced."

Our goal isn't simply to be "more positive." Our goal is to direct attention toward a behaviour we can actually perform.

Positive self-talk isn't about pretending everything will go perfectly. In fact, there is interesting research suggesting that the effectiveness of positive statements depends, in part, on our existing level of confidence.

Effective self-talk is believable, specific, and actionable.

Sometimes it's motivational:

"You've prepared for this."

Sometimes it's instructional:

"Eyes up."

"Smooth follow-through."

"Commit to the first step."

The common thread is that effective self-talk gives your brain something useful to organize behaviour around.

THE TAKEAWAY

Your brain is constantly preparing for action.

The question is:

What action are you asking it to prepare for?

Rather than asking your brain to load and unload the motor patterns you hope to avoid, practice directing your attention toward the movement, behaviour, or process you want to execute. While there is certainly a time and place for strategizing or practicing how you'll respond when things don't go your way, game day isn't it.

Mental skill development requires repetition.

Self-talk is a skill.

Pay attention to the instructions you give yourself during workouts, meetings, conversations, or everyday challenges. Practice giving yourself clear, actionable cues before the stakes are high. Under pressure, we tend to fall back on what we've rehearsed—so rehearse the instructions you want to follow.